Father, it has been 5 days since my last confession. wow, that feels like forever! So, the whole world has opened before my eyes. no earth shattering movement, just waking up every morning to watch with glee as the day, she unfolds before me. today, a beautiful woman named Tansy, shared some of the most heart-right wisdom, peace, inspiration with me. i don't remember much with my conscious mind, only YES! this is RIGHT, i am learning to listen. i am on my path. God made earth for us to play, to use these incredible senses we have and LOVE. it's enough to just love every day. what a practice this is being. can i love me without a "job"? can i love me writing new songs? can i love me feeling like a flop leading Kirtan tuesday night at the LoaTree Yurt? can i love me walking in the foggy morning mist of the mountain? can i love me forgetting to let go and trying to control other people? cause if i can love me for all that, i can love you too. funny...i already DO! i LOVE YOu. i am SOOO glad you are here to play with me. When shall we play? perhaps after i finish some of these 5 new songs that are flowing out. WHEEEEEee! two of them are kids songs....working on songs that are fun for kids that won't drive the folks bonkers when they have to listen 500 times to them. (i think i added that out of my old habit of feeling like i need to validate my existence..see i'm DOing something. still practicing)
i'm wondering about the bees. they are coming to me often. i am cradling them as they die. i wonder about their beauty and the amazing celebration for life and sunshine. they are so organized, for a greater purpose, and they are dying in huge numbers. and they are some of the greatest servants of the planet and we are stealing their gold and punishing them for our intrusion. hmmm....and it is all just so. part of the plan i suppose. or not.
did another ceremony for a squirrel who was hit yesterday. i just hate it when you tell it's a nursing mama. met Big Black Horse yesterday- what a freakin' character! he tried to eat the camera and fussed and fussed til i got him some greens. happy.
Fred and I saw two little deer last night on the road. so sweet and startled. we just waited for them to find a new way home. The magick on the mountain is strong. i came home to a fire in the woodstove that Bob had made so i'd be toasty. I feel so....loved. thanks y'all. hope you feel my love for you too.
kiKi
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