Sunday, September 23, 2007

ah...the scent of summer passed and fall awakened. bringing in the new season with snow in tahoe. Dora and i arrived yesterday to a little squal over Donner Summit- what a trip. went to Sierraville hotsprings last night for a celebration of the equinox...hot/cold, noisy/quiet, wet/dry all these lovely opposites seeking balance. went for a soak again this a.m. (camped out nearby the springs) chris and i went for a hike in the hills. cold, cloudy, birds everywhere. they were so beautiful and the sounds they make are wonderful. chris knows most of their names and knows who sings what song. that's cool.

in a funk with this internal shifting to meet the weather that is in front of me. sleepy and wishing for a warm place to play some music. breathing deep.

will be in truckee til oct 4th.

mystery...bring me into the fold.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Father, it has been 5 days since my last confession. wow, that feels like forever! So, the whole world has opened before my eyes. no earth shattering movement, just waking up every morning to watch with glee as the day, she unfolds before me. today, a beautiful woman named Tansy, shared some of the most heart-right wisdom, peace, inspiration with me. i don't remember much with my conscious mind, only YES! this is RIGHT, i am learning to listen. i am on my path. God made earth for us to play, to use these incredible senses we have and LOVE. it's enough to just love every day. what a practice this is being. can i love me without a "job"? can i love me writing new songs? can i love me feeling like a flop leading Kirtan tuesday night at the LoaTree Yurt? can i love me walking in the foggy morning mist of the mountain? can i love me forgetting to let go and trying to control other people? cause if i can love me for all that, i can love you too. funny...i already DO! i LOVE YOu. i am SOOO glad you are here to play with me. When shall we play? perhaps after i finish some of these 5 new songs that are flowing out. WHEEEEEee! two of them are kids songs....working on songs that are fun for kids that won't drive the folks bonkers when they have to listen 500 times to them. (i think i added that out of my old habit of feeling like i need to validate my existence..see i'm DOing something. still practicing)

i'm wondering about the bees. they are coming to me often. i am cradling them as they die. i wonder about their beauty and the amazing celebration for life and sunshine. they are so organized, for a greater purpose, and they are dying in huge numbers. and they are some of the greatest servants of the planet and we are stealing their gold and punishing them for our intrusion. hmmm....and it is all just so. part of the plan i suppose. or not.

did another ceremony for a squirrel who was hit yesterday. i just hate it when you tell it's a nursing mama. met Big Black Horse yesterday- what a freakin' character! he tried to eat the camera and fussed and fussed til i got him some greens. happy.

Fred and I saw two little deer last night on the road. so sweet and startled. we just waited for them to find a new way home. The magick on the mountain is strong. i came home to a fire in the woodstove that Bob had made so i'd be toasty. I feel so....loved. thanks y'all. hope you feel my love for you too.

kiKi

Saturday, September 15, 2007

So how much do i LoVe HeLeN?? she just showed up at the door at Amy's, she lives with Amy's Mom. anyway...there she was, making herself muy comfortable after we shared a little dinner. Very inspiring to keep playing, which i am having lots of time to do these days.

i am discovering the endless wonders of the ocean. Paolina told me that the lobster body i found was likely a lobster that crawled out of it. who knew??? lobsters make a whole new body...okay, so they just keep getting cooler and cooler in my book :)

and seaweed! holy smokes. i mean, REALLY! in one tiny square foot of sand i found 6 different types...flat and smooth, white, red, brown, green, bright green, little bubbles, and even this one that is sooo cool i think they made some fake plastic toy like it. why the hell do we make so many plastic things when nature has provided us an eternal playground?!!

ok, so, Questions...

what are those little seaweed bubbles filled with water? what do sea anemones eat and how long can they go without food (i was worried about those little critters that are stuck in the seabowls in the big rocks that fill with water and then just hang out when the tide goes out- i guess they've got good timing down and all with the tide). what are those itty bitty teensy weensy little critters that appear to be nothing more than two little whips flying around above said seabowl? when pelicans play follow the leader, is there a productive reason or is it just for fun? everybody up uP UP DOWN DOwn down and uP UP DOWN DOwn down hee, looks fun!

it was sweet to sleep outside last night, not quite as windy. the creatures were so sweet. i even saw a little foxy fox on my way up the mountain around midnight. she was pertty. and the wind sang me to sleep under the stars while they told me stories of far away lands where people are outside all the time and the animals and plants and trees and everybody is equal. sweet dreams.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

so i've been in Gaviota since sunday. WoW! i can hardly believe the paradise i've been invited to savor (thanks Amy H :). i've never been so drawn by the ocean so intensely before. and she is scary, wonderous, angry, portendful, delicious. she seduces me into her arms every time...heart beating fast, waves riding continuous, breaking little cliffs over me, noone around to "save" me should she decide she wants me for herself. but i go anyway. straight to the heart of what scares me, cause i have to. i sure would like to learn to surf (full of life metaphors). i am so in awe of the real surfers. now THAT is a religion i could get behind.

so yesterday i scampered down a slippery, scratchy-bush trail behind the train tracks, down to the near-empty beach to find a whole lobster, well, from the outside (someone enjoyed an innards snack) dead, and i was aMAZed to get to inspect the intricacy, the alien shapes, the dinosauric, wild form that some people just drop into a pot and let scream. this creature i only yesterday saw up close for the first time is SOOO extraordinary i could hardly believe something like that lives right here. all those flipper things and grabber things, and so many different materials and designs. have you ever looked underneath? every section has this almost see-through skin, it's not hard shell like the top. and the eyes, whoa, those buggy little things are totally see through when dead. and what on earth is going on on the thoracic part of the back? all those hard spiny things. and the TEETH!! wHAT???! i mean, those things seem like they could do some serious chomping! anyway, i highly recommend checking one out- and perhaps in pictures on line or something safe for them!

today i went on a lovely hike with Amy...rattlesnake something or other, though i didn't have the pleasure of seeing any of its namesake creatures. then to arroyo burro (henry's) for a much more mellow tread in the water. what a gentle beach. many memories rushed in of being here with Cassidy and Mingus...leash free!!!! in the late afternoon sun i finished Jane Goodall's book "Reason for Hope". hmmm...umm...we gotta get going folks. there IS hope if we are all willing to let the right thing start making a louder noise. i am soo grateful to all of you who are standing up and saying we MUST create a future for our KidS. ummm, we've really dumped a bit of shit on them, and we wonder why "they" seem so apathetic. geesus. what sort of future have we created for them. and here i sit in this beauty, the next step unfolding. all part of the journey.

ok, so i listen and then write. and think. and wonder. it's nice.

the train tracks are calling...still...big blue skies...big blue waters...big blue life... allowing the colours to change.

still loving you dearly,

kiKi

Moonday, September 10, 2007

what would happen if we all just stopped? sat still until we knew what exactly it was that we were doing, moving, moaning, loving toward. what if we didn't move until everything in our being said, Yes?

Reading Jane Goodall's "Reason for Hope". that woman knows how to sit still and listen. listen. listen.

Learning so much. It's soo beautiful here.

Do you KNOW how BleSSeD you are???

Me too.

I love YoU!

kiKi

Sunday, September 9, 2007

north or south? which way to go? it has been soo nice being right in the middle. the central coast is so lovely. it sure helps to wake up and all day long be offered scones, mango juice, popsicles, dinner, and a host of other things i don't need or eat (thanks Paul :) Paul is on the road too...he is a cool photographer/surfer dude (though his shoulder keeps him from riding these days). Rupert goes everywhere with him. Mike does incredible, high-end restoration on old woodie cars...so pretty. Phoebe goes with him everywhere. Fred just got an '81 VW Westfalia that i am coveting (but need to stop...soon i will have the explorer sold and will find my own Westie). Oh yea, and Chase is his faithful sidekick, even on the Honda Redwing sometimes :) Fred has a new lease on life...he decided to do it HiS way...the haPPy waY :) Starting to put together places to play in the areas around here :) wow, don't have to go far to feel like i'm traveling the whole world. just waking up every day grateful to be alive. it is a good feeling i was missing for a minute. but it all only lasts a minute, so i keep remembering, or being reminded by the friends i meet, and the ones i've loved long time, that it's time NOW. did i mention already.

Slept out under the stars last night on a beach near morro bay. the waves... God that's Good. woke at first light for a walk and breathing and beachcombing. found some really pretty sand dollars, only took the ones with the backs missing (noone needs those anymore). life continues to inspire the listening. today...i feel she is getting ready.

September 8, 2007

Left Apple Valley after a short sweet visit with Satatma and Jesse. GEEZ the desert IS hot and windy. wowZa. left muy late in the afternoon and took all back roads. not so easy to reach the ocean in a straight shot. ended up needing sleep somewhere about half way on 166 West. so i stopped and curled up in the back, under the big big, filled with stars sky. i don't have a clock, no cell phone, and just got wireless hooked up on this little lappietop that sometimes just shuts off cause it's old and tired. so i didn't know what time it was when i woke, still dark. i drove about half an hour more and then decided it must be about 3 am cause i was very groggy still. slept a couple more hours and felt muy awake to make it all the way to cayucos. i LoVE cayucos. i was here about 10 years ago after a 2 week journey in the southwest with a dear friend, whom i left in Flagstaff...i still wonder if i hadn't left.... ANYWAY- i'm here. i spent the entire day here, in stillness. beach. sound of waves crashing over and over and over and clearing and cleaning me out inside out inside out. began the pele phase of my moon time while sitting in the warm sand. yummm. and spent much of the day with Paul. he's a retired ocean photographer with a heart of gold and generosity exploding in every direction. scones, mango juice, a beach chair, inspiration to spend time in baja, and just a general swell fellow traveler.

so, was "SUPPOSE TO" go to Power to the Peaceful first thing this a.m. A wake and Drive up to SF and it just didn't happen. just couldn't move yet. so much motion on this planet. like everything is trying to catch up to something. but it's just my tail. and i've already got that, so what else. i am starting to sift down into a lower gear. wondering what i choose without "Suppose to" (that's what i gave up for Lammas Day!) that and "Should". so i decided there would be more power to me if i find my own peaceful today.

So a theme is unfolding....LISTENING. i am learning to listen better, and i have much to learn from the world about this. i am starting with listening to my body better. listening to the rythmns within that are flowing, gently, strongly. what happens if i LISTEN and FOLLOW? what happens when i replace a should with what IS? what happens when i listen to the story of the ocean? where will she lead me?

i read Alice Walker's book (thanks Paolina) in two days..."Now is the Time to Open Your Heart". nice book to begin the journey. Open My Heart NOW....and what unfolds with the opening? in the book she talked about how the aboriginals get a "Call" from nature and they drop everything in the moment and go...2 days, 4, 5, months, whatever, to go on their walkabout. which is to reconnect with the earth and listen to the song she has to sing them. alice said something about how they sing EVERYTHING so they never forget. they have nature's song in their heart...they know where they are by songs of the earth and landscape, not maps.

i hear a faint call. it is getting louder. i am ready to know a new song.

love, KiKi

tHe adVENtuRe BEgiNs...

Monday, September 3, 2007
Blog is created by crazy friend Paolina!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Dora the Explorer goes in for a muffler fixup and gets loaded up for the road!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007
sing it with me now: "on the road again..."

the magical, musical kirsten!